Hi Everyone, Welcome back to my blog.
I have been writing about selfcare for a while now and I’m loving the fact that I get so much support from everyone about these posts. Today, I will be writing about 12 steps to self care. This isn’t a to do list or some laws or must do steps to self care but something you should indulge in and understand that it’s okay to feel this way.
I found out that there has been a lot of misconceptions about self care and some thinks it’s just about pampering one self, do the most or going extravagant with doing things but these are just like branches of the self care trees.
I’ve learnt that self care actually connects more on an emotional level of your life. How you feel about certain things, how to voice out your opinion, how to feel great in your own skin, how to look out for yourself, how making your own self happy first and more. These are what you get to do before any other thing. No matter how much money or things you buy for yourself, if you are not happy on the inside then these things don’t even matter.
I will be talking about 12 steps to self care that you should practice. Immediately I saw this list on pinterest, I just knew I had to make a post on it.
12 Steps to self care
- If it feels wrong, don’t do it
- Don’t be a people pleaser
- Be kind to yourself
- Give yourself the same love you give to others
- Don’t be afraid to either say yes or no
- Let go of what you can’t control
- Stay away from drama and negativity
- Trust your instincts
- Don’t be quick to judge others to make yourself feel better
- Be comfortable in your own skin and own it
- Say exactly what you mean (don’t be afraid to voice out your opinion)
- Never speak bad about yourself
1. IF IT FEELS WRONG, DONT DO IT: often times one way or another, we’ve done things we are not proud of just to feel among and this sometimes happens as a result of peer pressure. Once you know deep inside of you that this thing you are about to do doesn’t feel or sit right with you, just abort the mission. It doesn’t matter what that is, even if it is to yourself don’t do it. Anything that you will regret later please avoid it. It’s better to stand alone with peace of mind than sitting in the midst of people and still feel alone.
2. DON’T BE A PEOPLE PLEASER: Don’t bring yourself down trying to please anyone. You can’t please everybody because no matter what you do, there are people that will still find fault in whatever you do.
3. BE KIND TO YOURSELF: You deserve kindness. Speak positive things to yourself.
4. GIVE YOURSELF THE SAME LOVE YOU GIVE TO OTHERS: If you are giving them time, you deserved time for yourself too. Don’t make people happy at the detriment of your own happiness. It is very much okay to give yourself your attention and look after yourself too because if anything happens to you, they will move on and life will continue.
5. DON’T BE AFRAID TO SAY YES OR NO: when you feel YES is what you should be saying, please say yes and when it is NO, then let it be no.
6. LET GO OF WHAT YOU CAN’T CONTROL: Once something or someone is out of your control, let it go. You can’t change everything and everyone. Somethings or some people are better left alone. You don’t have to be a hero all the time.
7. STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVITY AND DRAMA: There is no way you can have that peace or have a balanced mental health if you are always surrounded by negative people / things or anything / anyone that brings drama to your life. Your mental health is very important and life is too short to fill it with negativity, toxicity and drama.
8. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS: Only you know yourself better and most times we know the answers to things and all you have to do is listen to your self.
9. DON’T BE QUICK TO JUDGE OTHERS: Last week has taught a lot of people a huge life lessons hearing about the death of Chadwick Boseman (Black Panther). One time he posted a video where he was addressing something very important but people choose to commen rude things about his weight loss and make mockery of him. Imagine the guilt some had to carry learning he has been battling colon cancer for four years even while filming black panther. I saw an interview of one an actor (not sure if it was an actor or a director) who said he actually judged him immediately when he was to work with him.
He felt he was acting too precious while everyone around was cheering him on and he immediately thought the fame after the success of black panther had gotten into him but later he found out they were just looking out for him and he was actually an amazing human. People judge someone they haven’t even met or had chance to spend time with just because someone had said something bad about them.
Some will judge people just to make themselves feel better about their own struggles which is so sad and unfair. I have judged people a lot of time but now, I know better because I have been judged countless times too that I felt really bad about things that were said about me without even getting to know me.
10. BE COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN: It took me a while to accept my flaws and build myself a strong and thicker skin from my insecurities. You are beautiful in your own world and you need to own it. You need to let the world see how amazing you are and how your scars and flaws don’t define you. Everyone has one or two things they find as insecurities or flaws and you need to accept the fact that you are enough. There can be just one you and no one can be you.
11. SAY EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN: Unless you want to make a rude, ugly or offensive comments/remarks about something or someone which you need to keep to yourself, then you should learn to speak your mind, truth and say how you feel exactly. They will laugh at me, they will have me, what if they find me weird?
There is nothing wrong with been different and there absolutely confidence in standing your ground and saying what exactly you feel especially when people are trying to make you feel bad about yourself and putting you down just to make themselves look good.
12. NEVER SPEAK BAD ABOUT YOURSELF: I am on this table. I got so used to the negative things that people say to me that I just accept it and say it myself just to make me feel accepted by people who doesn’t give a care in the world about how I feel.
I will joke around by calling myself ugly, dumb just so they can see me as the girl who is okay with been bashed and they feel they can do it anytime because I allowed it. I accepted less from people and doesn’t even believe I’m worthy of respect, love or care.
I’m learning to stand up for myself and surrounding myself with lots of positivity and self love.
I hope someone out there finds this encouraging, worth reading and learning something from. You don’t have to out yourself down just to be accepted or for some bitter being to make themselves look and feel good about themselves.
Thank you for reading