It’s day 13th of my 30 days writing challenge and we have come this far my apple family. I’m really grateful for all your support through reading, liking and commenting.
We have an exciting quest for today which I have to talk about something that I am excited about.
I have gotten some comments on my social media pages about my choices of some certain things. It’s like majority thinks they have you figured out but then it turns out you are different some find it weird while others finds it interesting. I remembered my posts about 10 things that I love, 5 things I’m grateful for/blessed, who inspires me and one other post that I can’t remember. I some comments on Facebook mostly on how they wouldn’t have imagined those answers to be somethings someone would choose.
Anyway, today is not about getting to know me but thing(s) I’m excited about.
DAY 12 | Five Blessings in My Life
WHAT I’M EXCITED ABOUT
I have a lot of things that I’m excited about but one that I really excited about is almost paying of my loan. Yes, I’m really happy about it because I was able to raise this payments out of nothing and get it up to 85% been debt free.
I know you must be wondering what kind of loan I’m talking about here. Not a student loan, nor a mortgage or healthcare loan but personal loan.
I was really disappointed in myself at some point that things aren’t happening the way I’d planned them. I felt like a complete embarrassment to my mother that I couldn’t get a job or get be independent and also live like almost everyone my age on social media. I’d wished I could do more and not stay stuck still asking my parents for things or my uncles. I was so ashamed to asked for help that I started getting personal loans to take care of things myself. For a long while I was happy that I wasn’t asking anyone for help and I lied to my mom that I was making some online sales just for her to be proud of me. Mind you, my mom doesn’t even feel the same I felt as seeing myself as a failure. She was genuinely happy to help me anytime.
I placed myself under unnecessary pressure just to make me feel like I was doing something right. At some point I got so stuck that I was caught up in payment. I couldn’t pay them off anymore and I started receiving threats messages from them.
I started saving up little by little to pay off. A friend I’d told about my problem wanted to help but it felt like I was taking an easy way out and I wouldn’t understand the act of taking up my own responsibility. It was so tough that some times, I ended up crying myself to sleep as I felt like a failure.
I still get that feeling that I could be doing things better but then, I felt this calmness that I’m doing the little I could in this period and I’m grateful even if it means earning just a little.
I’m really happy that I’m debt free and I can breathe fresh air.
I feel really good sharing this with you all and I thought j would have felt ashamed but then I just feel like I’m actually okay and getting something right and taking responsibility for my mistaken.
What are you excited about?
Thank you for reading…