Hello everyone, how are we doing today?
It’s day 6 on our staycation selfcare post and on today’s post, I will be talking about self love and romantic love.
A few weeks ago on Twitter, I saw a particular tweet that about self love and romantic love and this really gave me a lot to think about. It says ‘self love was never meant to replace romantic love. Stop telling people to love themselves whenever they are talking about meeting or wanting a significant other. Both form of love are supposed to coexist. Wanting a significant other doesn’t mean you don’t love yourself’.
I was following a celebrity story on instagram some months back. He has suffered a lot with addictions and his wife then tried all she could including giving up her dreams of having a child with because she felt their situations then wasn’t the right moment to bring and raise a child in. I think a year or two she filed for a divorce when she realized she was losing herself and the love she once felt for herself. She wanted and needed a man and she got the man of her dream but the rough times took a serious toll on them. She lost every part of herself that she felt drained and tired. Two years after their divorce and seeking help, he found love again and during one of his interview with his soon to be wife, she said something that really got me worried.
She said he needed her for him to be better. She was his source of inspiration and the reason he got better. She said he used her as a means to be better and which made her fall in love more with him.
She is a beautiful lady and very confident with the way she spoke and all. My concern is the fact that he didn’t think getting better for himself was achievable and what will happen if they don’t end up together?
Yes you can be someone’s source of inspiration to achieve greatness and lots of goodness but to the point of not functioning without them? I don’t think that is inspiration anymore.
Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.
I realized that self love isn’t about finding love and what you missing in another person. It’s about seeing that love grows from you and understand that there are times when it’s going to be you alone. The significant other you want might also be battling with self confidence, low self esteem and doesn’t love his or herself enough. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you getting the right patner, it’s about confidence, positive energy around yourself, finding peace in your own world and able to stand any negativity.
Don’t look for something missing in your life in another person because when you can’t find it or when they can no longer live up to that standard anymore or keep up with the version of them you made them create, you are already creating disaster with your self confidence and love. You now see yourself as not good enough, not deserving of love and no amount of good people say or sees in you, it will make no sense to you.
self love is difficult because we live in a world where it is seen as a negative thing to embrace ourselves. people look down on each other for showing the smallest appreciation for our own abilities, and that has a lasting impact on one another. When you give yourself credit for the little things you achieved because deep down they mean a lot to you but people feel the need to tear you down.
Loving Yourself Is Not Selfish. Self –love is never selfish, it is about being aware that loving oneself is also about loving others. It is offering an indirect love, in a way that you fulfill it within yourself first. Self-love is that beautiful courage noticed by others as a form of inspiration.
Bible Verses about Self Love
- Matthew 22:39
- Mark 12:31
- Psalm 139:14
- Luke 12:7
- 1 Corinthian 13:4-7
Bible Verses to boost your self esteem
- Philippians 4:13
- Psalm 46:5
- 1 Corinthians 25:10
- Romans 5:8
- Pslam 28:76
What I have learnt about self love
- You are not perfect but you are very much enough
- Accept your flaws
- Forgive yourself for the avoidable and unavoidable mistakes
- Your self worth is not defined by how others sees you
- Change for yourself and if at all you need to change for someone, make sure it’s what you want
- Avoid negativity and negative people
- Be your own source of happiness first
- Believe in yourself, ability and strength
- You are not weak
- All bodies are good bodies. Accept yours
- At your own pace
- Be contented
- Do what makes you happy
- Surround yourself with people that makes you happy
- Anything that is pulling strength, happiness and peace out of your is to be left alone
- Your feelings are valid
- Love all of you
- Start by replacing the ugly past one after the other with beautiful memories
- It will take time to take those ugly words out of your head but replace them with beautiful words one at a time
- Revenge will drain your energy
- Stop self sabotaging
- Stop selling yourself short just to please anyone
- Be your own crowd and stop fitting into the wrong crowd
- Take one step at a time
- Self love will boost your physical, spiritual, emotional and mental health
- Self care isn’t selfish
- Your are beautiful
- Your are strong
- You are you.
Self love and romantic love should coexist and not replace one with the other. At the point when that romantic love feels wrong and you are on your own, then you know you can be you again and knkw that you have not lost any inch of you.
You have been called ugly, you have been told that you are not good enough, those ugly memories and words kept on playing all the time, you feel like ending it all, you don’t know where to start from, you don’t love yourself to believe you can be great? Sit down, breathe and tell yourself you are the best you and no one can replace you. You are strong, beautiful, smart, the best, and confident. Say it till it makes sense and believe it.
Love and light to everyone out there and please stay safe.
Thank you for reading…