Writer’s block is a condition, primarily associated with writing, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work or experiences a creative slowdown according to wikipedia’s definition.
If you noticed for a while now, I’ve not been consistent with posting here. Lately, I’ve been dealing with my anxiety and the way I’m handling things not consume my every thought and activities has been a huge achievement for me. This part of me has been a very sensitive issue I don’t like talking about. I’m happy with the progress I’m making lately.
I was this close to deleting my blog some days back as the constant reminder that I’m not trying enough or I’m not achieving one of my goals to become a successful blogger. The constant reminder of my past and how I had to deal with people telling me I’m not good enough, my insecurities and the constant battle in my head that even I couldn’t bring myself to fight was having a huge impact on my blog.
It’s so hard when you can’t explain the battle, cold war and the scenes playing out in my head to anyone because once you asked me what the problem is, I just look at you like “even I doesn’t seem to understand what is going” and believe it hurts so much.
I never really understood what was wrong with me for so long? till I was able to figure it out by doing some important reading and research.
SOME OF THE SYMPTOMS I USED TO HAVE
- Racing heart
- Light headed
- A sudden change in mood that just comes out of no where
- I suddenly don’t want to do anything
- I started preferring my own company and making excuses not hanging out with friends and family
- Uncontrolled battle in my head
- Screaming in my head
- Ugly fight scenes with no one in particular playing out in my head
- Blank feeling
- I feel like running
- Sometimes difficulty in breathing
- Afraid that something bad is going to happen
- I feel exhausted
- I feel like been by myself
- The feeling of going to the dark place which scares me a lot “depression”
I have really improved in controlling my emotions and trying to not give in to depression because that part has been really ugly and believe me, it’s not some place I want to be in again. It is one thing to realise you need help and it is another for people to understand that you needed that help.
Another achievement I have made in really helping myself get over anxiety is helping myself first. Giving myself the chance to get to know me better. Taking it slow and understanding that change is a gradual process and so is healing.
How does anxiety pushed me into having writer’s block?
Blogging/writing has been something I realized that I love so much. It’s not about money for me really but the joy of doing something that I love. I think one way that anxiety has really affected this is having this feeling that I’m not good enough, over thinking things and just not having the zeal to do anything. Writer’s block doesn’t necessarily means that I don’t know what to write or I can create content but the feeling of “I don’t want to”, and “I don’t think I should”. No content feels original or real to me and this just leads to me not writing at all. One of my greatest pain about this is, how long this feeling can last.
10 Simple ways I deal with Writer’s block due to Anxiety
I have so many ways that I have developed over time to helping me get back to my sanity and also help me ove on with each episode I had but I will drop the 10 most important yet simple ways I do this.
- Listening to a very calm music or instrumental song.
- Reading (I am a sucker for romance and happy endings. Anybook app has been a great source of my happiness lately and I have developed a really good eye for books).
- I stopped comparing myself to others.
- I started accepting the fact that some days won’t be easy and it’s just another day to live by.
- Self meditation for about 30mins. I just sit down and block out thoughts by creating a happy place for myself and creating a beautiful and happy images of myself.
- I write things that I love about myself.
- I accept that I’m enough and I’m very proud of every little achievement I’ve accomplished.
- I have one talk friend that allows me to talk while he/she listens and I also do the same.
- For writing and blogging, on days that an idea of a post comes to my mind, I write little by little in drafts till it makes a whole complete post.
- I remember why I love writing and blogging.
- I started doing things more for myself and stops self sabotaging.
My Personal Mantra for Anxiey
- I am good enough
- I deserved to be loved
- My thoughts are mine and they are beautiful
- I deserved the world
- Peace, Love and Strength.
To anyone going through Anxiety and depression, I know some days will be bad and dark and I know how self consuming this ugly thoughts are but I want you to know that once you accept that the biggest and most important step to achieving clean days is by accepting you need help and you should be your own motivation into accepting other’s help. If you have people who are genuinely looking out for you, even if you can tell them immediately just enjoy their company and listen to them trying to help you. I know how difficult it is when you can’t even explain what is going on in your head but embrace the bad days and take one self care routine one at a time. You are stronger than you think.
I’m using this moment to wish every woman out there a wonderful International women’s day.
Thank you for reading